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Beatrice Chestnut

The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

Although they are very different, Twos and Eights do have some commonalities and can appear similar. In particular, Social Twos can look like Eights and (especially female) Social Eights can look like Twos. Twos and Eights both tend to be protective of others, especially important others in the case of Twos, and weaker or more vulnerable others in the case of Eights. Both Twos and Eights can be impulsive, self-indulgent, and hedonistic, Twos because they may overcompensate for not knowing what they need (and thus may often feel deprived), and Eights because they move quickly into action, often without thinking, and don’t like to have inhibitions put on their desires. People of both styles can be excessive in the things they do, like eating, working, and giving, Eights because they have big energy and appetites and don’t like to feel limited, and Twos because they often don’t know exactly what they need and so can overdo it at times. Also, Twos tend to abandon themselves when they focus on others’ needs at the expense of their own, and Eights tend to forget their own needs and limits when they, for instance, habitually take on more and more and work without being able to recognize their limitations. Both Twos and Eights like to be in control, Eights because they see the big picture and want to make order and move things forward and meet their needs, and Twos because they want to appear competent and do things in a specific way that they think will impress others.

There are also several contrasts between Twos and Eights. Twos focus a great deal of attention on their image and on how people are perceiving them, while Eights may express an attitude of “not caring what others think of them.” Most Eights can relatively easily feel and express anger and confront conflictual situations, even if they don’t “like” conflict. While Twos can occasionally confront people and engage in conflict, most often Twos repress their anger and avoid conflict because they fear it may alienate people they want to maintain a connection with. Eights’ attention typically focuses on power and control and who has it and how they use it. Twos may sense this at times, but they primarily pay attention to what people need and how they feel, not how much power they have. Although they do not always have to be the boss or the leader, Eights can easily step into a leadership role, especially if there is void in that area. Although Twos can be good leaders, they usually feel more comfortable being in a secondary support position: the leader’s right-hand or the power behind the throne. And while Eights can dominate and impose their will rather easily, Twos tend to read a situation in terms of what is required of them and then alter their behavior to be what others need them to be, rather than asserting their own will all the time (though sometimes they do so in a prideful “I know best” kind of way). Finally, Eights tend to avoid expressing vulnerability and usually even deny any sense of vulnerability at all. Twos, on the other hand, can more easily express vulnerability, as they often feel vulnerable feelings, such as hurt or sadness, and may even use their vulnerability in unconscious ways to manipulate others.

The Enneagram Institute

Misidentifications

It is not difficult to see how Twos and Eights can be confused, although there is a world of difference between them. Some average Twos realize that they are forceful and dominating, two of the significant traits of Eights. A particularly aggressive Two may find himself or herself in a work-related role that requires leadership and discipline. For these and other reasons, it is possible for some Twos to misidentify themselves as Eights. This is especially true for male Twos, who, for cultural reasons, may prefer to emphasize these traits. (The difference even on these points, however, is that average Twos do not dominate others and their environment to extend their personal power. Twos do indeed dominate others, although indirectly: they may be overbearing and controlling, although always under the guise of being concerned for others. When Eights attempt to dominate, they make it clear that they are in a power struggle with the other.) Twos and Eights are nevertheless similar in the deep feelings and passion they bring to their relationships, although the expression of their feelings and the effects they have on others are quite different.

It is worth noting that both types struggle with underlying feelings ofrejection, although they cope with these feelings in different ways. These feelings probably predispose both types to have stormy relationships and, should conflicts occur, to express their intense passions in interpersonal conflicts (Eights) or in covert neediness and manipulation (Twos).

The probable source of the confusion is that both types have strong wills and egos and a tendency to dominate others. Eights are openly aggressive, forceful, and egocentric, but are very direct in their communication. When Eights are not happy about something, they have no difficulty letting the other person know that they are angry or disappointed. Twos can also be aggressive, forceful, self-satisfied, ego centric, and so forth, although covertly, under an increasingly thin veneer of love. Twos have great difficulty communicating their anger openly, even though they may be very upset with someone. Thus, they use indirect approaches, trying to hint at, or failing that, to manipulate others into meeting their needs. By contrast, less healthy Eights intimidate people openly and when they are frustrated, they push harder to get what they want, possibly using direct threats. When Twos are frustrated, they try to make others feel guilty, especially by dramatizing the suffering they feel. Of course, as Twos become more overwhelmed by stress, they increasingly resemble Eights since Eight is the Two's Direction of Disintegration. Contrasting Twos such as Mother Teresa and Barbara Bush with Eights such as Indira Gandhi and former Governor of Texas, Ann Richards will yield more insight into these two types.