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Beatrice Chestnut

The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

Twos and Fours share some characteristics in common. Both styles have an awareness of image and pay attention to how others perceive them, but Twos want to be seen as likable and friendly and Fours prefer to be viewed as special and unique. Their sensitivity to how others see them and feel about them also contributes to both styles being self-critical, as both Twos and Fours can judge themselves for not being good enough to earn other people’s love. Both Twos and Fours can feel their emotions fairly readily, though Twos can sometimes repress feelings and may at times be out of touch with their inner experience, while Fours can overdo or overidentify feelings or dwell in some feelings in an extreme way to avoid other feelings. Interpersonally, both Twos and Fours pay a great deal of attention to relationships and make achieving connections with others a priority. And people of both styles have a great capacity for empathy, and so are typically skilled at creating relationships based on their ability to understand other people’s thoughts and feelings.

Twos and Fours also differ in many respects. When working on a project with others, Twos tend to be optimistic, upbeat, and supportive, while Fours often focus on what is missing. Twos want to be helpful through meeting others’ needs and so neglect their own needs because their attention is so focused on others. Fours have more access to their own needs and wants and make their own desires more of a priority. Twos are more other-focused, meaning they pay more attention to what others feel and need than their own feelings and needs; Fours are more self-referencing, focusing their attention more primarily on themselves and their own inner experience. When interacting with others, Twos place a high value on being liked and so often adapt their presentation to be more of what they think others want them to be, while Fours value authenticity and so do not alter as much to please others. Twos tend to be averse to conflict, as they fear conflict can destroy valued connections with others, while Fours are more able to engage in conflict when necessary, finding it more important to express truthful feelings and needs than accommodate others and avoid anger. Overall, Twos are usually upbeat and highly positive in their mood and emotional presentation, while Fours can dwell more in melancholy and sadness.

The Enneagram Institute

Misidentifications

Twos and Fours can be confused primarily because they are both Feeling types, and because they both put great emphasis on the ups and downs of their personal relationships. Even with these similarities, however, these two types are seldom mistaken for each other. When they are, it is usually because they are defining the types too narrowly. For instance, some Twos might mistype themselves as Fours if they have been through a depression or have recently been through the end of an important relationship. They may learn that Fours are a depressive type and deduce that since they have been depressed that they are probably Fours. In fact, all nine types can be depressed: feeling sad or alienated in itself is not an indication of being any particular type. Twos may also hear that Fours are romantic, and seeing themselves as romantic mistype themselves. Female Fours who have been reared in traditional or strongly religious environments may identify themselves as Twos, but this is a danger for woman of all types. Some Fours may also have been under stress for a while may similarly recognize many Two-ish behaviors.

Their differences are not difficult to recognize, however. Twos tend to move toward others and engage them, sometimes excessively. Fours tend to withdraw from others, while hoping that others will seek them out. Twos look for people to rescue, Fours look for someone to rescue them. Twos are very aware of others' feelings, but tend to be unaware of their own motivations and needs. Fours are highly attuned to their own emotional states, but can fail to recognize their impact on others, and so forth.