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Beatrice Chestnut

The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

Twos and Sevens can look alike. They both tend to be upbeat, energetic, and fun-loving. Both Twos and Sevens tend to be positive and optimistic, Twos because they want people to like them (and they know people like happy people), and Sevens because they like to be happy and not sad, as they can experience “negative” emotions as threatening and anxiety provoking. Both Twos and Sevens have hedonistic tendencies; both like to have a good time and experience pleasure. However, the aims behind their pleasure-seeking differ. Twos want to have positive experiences with others to build and enjoy relationships and also as a way to indulge (or overindulge) themselves in response to deeper feelings of need deprivation. Sevens have the habit of seeking pleasure as a defensive way of avoiding less positive experiences, including feelings of discomfort, pain, or anxiety. People of both styles enjoy relating to other people and may idealize individuals they like, Twos because they want others’ to affirm their likability and Sevens because they like the stimulation that comes with engaging with interesting individuals.

There are also significant differences between Twos and Sevens. Twos pay a great deal of attention to other people, focusing on the moods and needs of others as a way of aligning with them to create positive connections, while Sevens focus more on their own needs and wishes, seeking fulfillment of their own desires as a way of averting or distracting themselves from more negative experiences. In addition, Twos will often adapt themselves to others and abandon their own needs in an attempt to strengthen their bonds with others, while Sevens do what they want to do and do not often give up what they need to please someone else (though the Social Seven is an exception to this). In relating to others, Twos also actively manage their image as a way of attracting others by being what they think they want them to be, while Sevens do not focus as much on interpersonal interactions in terms of how people perceive their image. On a fundamental level, Twos are motivated by pleasing others; Sevens are motivated by pleasing themselves.

Twos tend to be more feeling-oriented, having regular contact with their emotions, while Sevens are more mental and more oriented to thinking. When completing a task, Sevens can have a difficult time focusing, especially if the task is tedious or boring, while Twos have an easier time focusing on completing a task, especially if what they are doing is in some ways being seen and evaluated by others. Sevens like to have many options, and they can feel limited if they don’t, while Twos don’t necessarily need or want more options, as having many choices can make it more difficult for Twos to make a decision (because they often don’t know what they need).

Social Sevens can look more like Twos than the other two Seven subtypes because Social Sevens are more oriented to being of service to others. Social Sevens may be confused with Twos because in addition to the commonality of being people-oriented, Social Sevens will sacrifice their own needs, in a way similar to Twos’ style, to support the needs of the group. This habit of being conscious of the group and what others might need can make the Social Sevens seem a lot like the friendly, outgoing, generous Twos. However, despite the Social Sevens’ tendency to give more or sacrifice their own self-interest more than the other Sevens, the Social Sevens can still be distinguished from Twos by their knowledge of their own needs and wants and their tendency to avoid difficult feelings.

The Enneagram Institute

Misidentifications

These types are frequently mistaken because both can be emotional and histrionic, although the emotions of Sevens are more labile (changing quickly) than the feelings of Twos. Average Twos are friendly and effusive, even gushy and dramatic, although they take pains to express their warm, personal appreciation of other people. They are deeply feeling (one of the types in the Feeling Triad), and their feelings are intimately connected with their sense of self, their behavior, and their interactions with others.

Average Sevens are also histrionic in that they dramatize their emotions flamboyantly, although their emotions are usually shorter lived and wide-ranging–from elation to delight to giddiness to flightiness to highly negative displays of anger, frustration, vituperation, and rage at others. Twos, while needing to express their feelings, tend to be more low-keyed. (Unless they are very unhealthy, Twos do not express their anger at others as openly, nor do they ever display the range of emotions–or such a dazzling variety of them–as Sevens.)

Although both types are gregarious and enjoy being with people, their interpersonal styles are noticeably different. The Two is more interpersonal, genuinely friendly and warm, and interested in others–they would like to be the heart and soul of a family or community, the best friend or confidant everyone comes to for attention, advice, and approval. Twos want to be significant to others and on intimate terms with them, although sometimes they go too far, meddling too much and being too solicitous to make sure they are needed.

By contrast, Sevens do not get as involved in other people's lives. Sevens do not see themselves as the center of a community or family, but as members of a free-floating band of fellow adventurers whose own enjoyment is enhanced by being with others. Sevens do not like to eat or drink alone, or go to the theater alone, or go on vacation alone, but this does not always mean that they are great lovers of people. But it is certainly true that their activities are more enjoyable when others are around to contribute to the excitement and stimulation they seek. To provide themselves with the company of others, Sevens may pay for the pleasure, buying tickets for poorer friends, inviting them to dinner or the country house, and so forth. Sevens may thus exhibit a certain generosity, although their motives may well have less to do with helping needier friends than with making sure that they themselves have a good time by having others around.

While average Twos want others to need them, average Sevens do not want to be needed by anyone: just the reverse, they have little patience for anyone who is too dependent on them since dependents become a drain on their resources and limit their freedom. Average Twos can be possessive of their friends because they feel they have invested a lot of time and emotional energy in them and do not want to see them drift away. Average Sevens tend to be less attached to people. ("Fine. If you don't want to be with me, there are always more fish in the sea.") Sevens can be devoted to loved ones like anyone else, but they refuse to cling. Once they decide that a relationship is not working, they can end them fairly quickly. They may feel sad for a time, but seldom have regrets about their decisions. Twos can leave relationships behind as well, but have a lot more difficulty letting go.

Lastly, although Sevens are action-oriented and expressive, they are primarily thinking types. They are quick-witted and like to fill their minds with interesting possibilities and concepts. Although Twos can certainly be bright and knowledgeable, they really are feeling types and the juice for them is in the sharing of feelings and intimacies. It is probable that more Sevens misidentify themselves as Twos than vice versa. The differences between Leo Buscaglia and Ann Landers (Twos), and Timothy Leary and Joan Rivers (Sevens) may clarify these two types.