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Beatrice Chestnut

The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

While Twos and Fives are in some ways opposites, they do share some traits in common. Both Twos and Fives can withdraw when feeling vulnerable, though Fives rely on this strategy more often and in more situations than Twos, and the Self-Preservation Two withdraws more frequently than the other Two subtypes. People of both styles can need time alone, though for Fives this is a more regular experience than for Twos. Twos usually need to develop an ability to be alone more as part of their self-work, whereas Fives usually need to develop an ability to be with others more. Twos most often feel the need for alone time after having been around people a lot, or after they have done some development work and realize they neglect their own experience in favor of focusing a great deal of attention on others. Both Twos and Fives also place a high value on independence, though for Fives this is more of a way of life, and for Twos independence may be a value they hold as an unconscious defense against feeling too dependent on others (as they depend on others’ approval to support their self-esteem).

In many ways, Twos and Fives are quite different. Twos feel their emotions fairly frequently, and Fives have the habit of detaching from emotion. Because of this, Fives can seem very reserved and unemotional and analytical, while Twos tend to appear much more emotional and to react to things with more feeling. In line with this, Fives have a more objective, intellectual way of approaching tasks and discussions in contrast to Twos’ more intuitive, feelings-based approach.

Twos like to be around people and actively seek out close relationships with others, while Fives highly value their privacy, personal space, and alone time, and are generally less relationship-oriented. Related to this, Twos focus their attention on other people’s feelings and needs to a large extent, while Fives often purposely avoid becoming too involved with other people—especially with the emotions and emotional needs of others. Fives hold the belief that they can easily be drained of energy and resources if they interact a great deal with others, while Twos can feel energized and affirmed by contact with other people, especially close friends and individuals who are important to them. Twos tend to give very generously to others, and can even give too much, whereas Fives are usually more withholding, having a regular concern that people will take too much of their resources, like time and energy, that they need for themselves. Additionally, Twos can have a difficult time making appropriate boundaries between themselves and others, while Fives tend to be very mindful of establishing firm boundaries with others. For example, Twos can have a hard time saying “no” to people, even when they want to, while Fives can relatively easily say “no” if they don’t want to meet another person’s need. Similarly, Twos usually consider themselves to be high-energy people who can readily devote a good deal of their time and energy to others, while Fives have the sense they have limited energy and so pay attention to conserving their energy for their own needs.

The Enneagram Institute

Misidentifications

This is an extremely unlikely mistype. Few people of either type would be likely to mistype themselves as the other type, but others might occasionally be fooled. Surprisingly, it is more likely for some Fives to be mistaken for Twos, but only in very narrow circumstances. Because Fives do not form emotional bonds easily, they can be highly dependent on the few they do form, and can become needy with their significant others. At such times, they do not want their loved ones far from them, somewhat like average Twos.

Otherwise, these types are almost opposites. Twos are emotionally expressive and highly people-oriented. Fives are emotionally detached and can be the true loners of the Enneagram. Both feel rejected easily, but Twos cope by winning people over and Fives cope by detaching from the hurt and isolating themselves further. Twos go by their feelings and can get flustered or irritated by overly intellectual approaches or complex ideas and procedures. Fives get flustered or irritated by sentimentality and gushiness: Fives feel that they are in their element with intellectual concepts and complexity. Twos tend to move toward others: Fives tend to withdraw from others, and so forth.